1st Monitoring Results

I haven't posted in a while, not much been going on to tell about.

Yesterday was my first monitoring appointment for this cycle. I had an ultrasound and blood work at my local hospital. Luckily this time I didn't have to spend an hour in the blood lab and be poked by three different people. I hadn't had this guy before and he got it on the first stick! He was so nice too and I thanked him for doing such a great job. :)

I am still not happy with my local hospital. Seems like every time I go there something is not done properly. Why should a patient have to call at 4:00 to both the radiology and lab departments and ask them to send my results to my doctor when it clearly states on the order for both to send them as soon as the results are done? My ultrasound was at 8:15 (the first one of the day) and my blood shortly after. I guess the results were just sitting there because it only took them about 10 mins to reach the doctor. Grrrrrrr. I believe there is no chain of command in the entire hospital. Poor management I suppose. (Side note- my little sister is having her baby there tomorrow, so they better treat her right or I may open a can on them, I got some growing frustration for the place from how they have handled my records and the constant run around they gave my grandma this summer. So ya they better be nice to her and do things right!)

Anyhow.... back to my results. I was a bit disappointed with my ultrasound. The tech only measured 2 follicles this time. That is the lowest count I have ever had. But hopefully it is just because I am early in my cycle. I know by Friday this could all change. I started my Clomid last night and will start my Follistim injections Wednesday night {ironic that it will probably be at the hospital with my new niece and other family members in attendance}. Hopefully the meds will do their job and grow nice follicles!

These were my levels:

Estradiol: 30
LH: 5.7
FSH: 18.3
Progesterone: less than 0.2

The coordinator said all my levels were good and where they should be. She said that I have a 1.5 cm cyst on my left ovary. But that it always seems to be there early in my cycle, that it was there last time and wasn't any cause for concern.

It's all in God's hands! I trust Him. I trust my doctors. And that is what will carry me through this week and next. :)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. James 1:2-7

Home!

We are home! I am doing well. I am a little light headed and have a bad headache but other than that not too bad. I am so happy to be at home in my recliner. Ha.

I am so glad we got to come home today instead of tomorrow! 

So what do you all think???... Should I tell my coordinator to call after work so I can be with Ryan or should I just bite the bullet and let her tell me fist thing??? This is what I will be thinking about all weekend! If it's disappointing news I want/need to be with Ryan but then also I am so anxious and that will just be that much longer to wait... Feel free to comment! I know y'all are reading! :) I have come this far... everything has been so smooth the last two weeks that it makes me nervous if I let myself think.

Side positive note: Ryan told me this morning before we left for the hospital that he had a dream we had twins, one boy, one girl. Then as we were waiting on the doctors to come in my room to send me back I was flipping through the tv channels and came along a show about twins on TLC. They were newborn, tiny. I kept flipping and low and behold I came across some channel for new moms. There was a woman breast feeding twins (one on each breast)!! (They were teaching the various techniques). Anyway as we were eating lunch (finally), Ryan's mom called and said she had to tell me something before she forgot again. She said that Ryan's sister had called a couple days ago telling her that she had a dream I was pregnant and nobody told her. When she ran into me and asked I told her I was pregnant with twins, a boy and girl!! 

So do you all believe in signs?! I do, I think God gives us signs sometimes. Maybe for hope, encouragement or guidance. Not saying that we will have twins but these little things are what keeps my hope alive! And I am thankful for them! 

Funny thing about another sign... The very first thing I bought "baby related" was after about two months of trying (approximately two years ago). It was a "My First Cardinals Tee" baby shirt. There it was staring me in the face the whole time! It even says "St. Louis" on it. I have looked at the thing countless times. I thought about giving it to a handful of moms that got pregnant in those two years but something inside of me couldn't let it go. I have held it and cried. I have laid it out so I would see it everyday to stuff it away a few days later. Granted I know it's not too much of a coincident since Ryan and I are such big fans. But really when you think about it, it is the only clothing item I have bought for our future baby.  

Here it is, isn't it cute?!?

Well there was one other clothing item, the red Tiny Toms I bought in November when I found out I was pregnant. I was going to use them for a Christmas card announcing our pregnancy. I miscarried before I got them in the mail. When I came home and they were sitting on the steps I immediately stuffed them under my bed. I didn't even open the UPS box they came in. Ha, they could be pink or glittery for all I know! My due date for that Angel is July 26th! Wow! 

Anyway I know I will open them someday. Maybe the day I find out I am pregnant. Although I may need another pair! Here's hoping, praying and dreaming about that moment! 

Hope you all have a great weekend! Work buddies I will see you Monday!   

Someday

{WARNING: POSSIBILITY OF TEARS AHEAD}

So a while back a very good friend of mine told me that listening to me talk about all that we had been going through inspired her. She said that although she could not relate to my struggle, she thought about the things I said and tried to place herself in my shoes. She told me that she could never imagine how it feels but that sometimes she turns her thoughts into a song. She wrote a song for me! She said that she didn't know when she would share it with me but that she would someday. I hadn't pressured her at all but yesterday she emailed me her song, "Someday".

Of course I started crying immediately! What an amazing gift to give someone! A gift that I will cherish for the rest of my life. A gift that I will share with my babies and grand babies someday. A gift of friendship and faith. I will be forever thankful for these words!

SOMEDAY

(Verse 1)

I want to look into those brown eyes/

I want to hear you/ to hear those little cries/

Not having you in my life/is just too much to bare/

You're in my every thought and wish/ you’re in my every prayer/

 

(Chorus)

Someday/ my dreams will all come true/

Someday/ I’ll be in this world with you/

Someday/ In my arms you will lay/

Oh I wonder when it will be my someday/

 

(Verse 2)

I’ll count every finger and every toe/

I’ll hold my angel/ and kiss you upon your little nose/

and thank GOD for this blessing/ that He’s sent to me/

Each day you’ll hear how much I love you/ and what you mean to me/

 

(Chorus)

Yes someday/ my dreams will all come true/

Someday/ I’ll be in this world with you/

Someday/ In my arms you will lay/

Lord I know there will be my someday/

 

(Bridge)

10 little fingers/ 10 little toes/

and brown eyes that sparkle/ as I kiss your little nose/

I can’t believe it/ it feels like a dream/

what I’ve wanted so badly/ is looking up at me……/  

 

(Chorus)

Someday/ my dreams have all come true/

Someday/ I am in this world with you/

Someday/ In my arms you now lay/

Thank you God for giving me my Someday

 

Thank you God for giving me my Someday

 

Wow! Amazing right? I think so! Thank you Jamie! I love you!

I know someday she will sing it for me. :) My hope is that she will record it for me too. That way I can play it to my babies. The Lord blessed her with musical talent, so although I plan on singing it to Walker babies someday, I still want them to hear it coming from her.

   

{Sorry Jamie I did change one word. I changed blue eyes to brown. Again sorry, but the likely hood of Ryan and I having a blue eyed baby is probably about the same as the likely hood of us conceiving without medical assistance. And that's ok!}