Catch Up!

It's been a while since my last post. I haven't done a very good job at documenting pregnancy like I figured I would. So I am making a catch up post.

We chose a name! She is Birdie Claire Walker!

I first felt her move on April 21st and daddy felt her on April 24th. Two of the best days of this pregnancy! She moves a lot now. At first it seemed she really had a pattern of kicking and dancing, usually around 8:00 in the morning, 4:00 in the afternoon and right at bedtime but now it is still those times plus many more times during the day. Even after feeling movement, it still seems a little unreal that a baby is growing in my belly.

Mother's Day was a good day. Last year at Mother's Day I had so many emotions, I was thinking about the baby we lost and how far along in that pregnancy I would have been, about my sister being able to celebrate the growing baby in her belly, about our upcoming IVF plans.... This year I thought about both our babies, the one still growing and the one with Jesus. I cried tears of sadness when I thought about how big he or she may be now and how fun it would be to see our baby with our niece Harley (due about a month apart). I cried tears of joy knowing that baby was safe and happy and where God intended it to be. I cried and thanked God for the baby that is here and growing still. But mostly I thought about all the wonderful people out there still waiting for God to unfold His plan to grow their families and I cried for and prayed for them. I thought about all the blog gals I follow, the ones who have experienced losses in the last year, the ones who are now expecting, the ones who are still fighting to achieve their first pregnancy, the ones who have moved on to another step (different doctors, embryo adoptions, starting the adoption process) and I prayed that they would have a good day.

Ryan surprised me with a gift that day. I have wanted a windmill for my yard for a long time and he finally got me one! We put it together after church that Sunday.

 

23 weeks, 2 days on Mother's Day

 

A few weeks ago was our 5 year anniversary! We celebrated our anniversary the way we do every year, a Cardinal's game! It was Birdie's first trip back to St. Louis, the first of many for our future Cardinal fan. I can't wait to see her in red sitting on her daddy's lap at the games! And her first game was a win!

 

 

24 weeks, 1 day



Her room has been a work in progress for the last month: bead board and trim installed and painted, my friend Dawnesea sewed all her crib bedding (crib skirt, sheet, quilt, pillows, and changing pad cover, she's also making a poof and adding some ruffles on curtains for me! Birdie's so lucky to have her as a buddy), a new light fixture went up, crib got put together, the glider came in, and a new closet system was installed to maximize space.

 

Here's a couple of sneak peek pictures:

 

I love how the bead board turned out (no we didn't do that part ourselves), the wall color is Sherwin Williams Dewey

 

The first thing hung in her closet had to be the very first baby item I bought 3 summers ago, her first Cardinal shirt :)

 

I love her bed and bedding. This phone picture doesn't do it justice.

 

Other pregnancy related happenings....

 

I've started experiencing big feet and ankles! My feet and ankles started swelling up 2 weeks ago. I was worried that it was too early for me to start swelling but the doctor says it is normal as long as I didn't have other side effects with it and I don't. I decided to go back to the chiropractor and get adjusted and that helped a lot. The swelling comes and goes, however I am pretty sure my feet have grew a 1/2 or whole size. Most of my shoes are too tight to wear. I tried on several sandals this weekend and no luck, they are too tight on the top of my feet. So it is probably going to be a summer of flip flops everyday. 

 

I can tell my hormones have changed, everything makes me cry, happy stuff and sad stuff, tv and songs, pretty much anything! I have never been much of a crier until now. Saturday I heard the song "I Loved Her First" and started crying immediately and that turned into a long sobbing boohoo! At the end of the song there is a line "someday you might know what I'm going through, when a miracle smiles up at you". Ahhh, I can't wait to see our miracle smiling up at her daddy and watch him fall in love that second. I am crying typing this.  

 

My last doctor appointment was last Thursday, it was also my glucose and anemia screening. The doctor appointment went fine, he said everything is going as expected. A friend that works at the clinic got the ultrasound tech to do a quick scan for us before we left. I was so excited. I thought surely we will get a good profile shot this time and a between the legs shot that didn't have a ? beside girl. Nope! She was laying in the same position as last time. She likes those hands over her face. I still couldn't make out any features on the screen except seeing her arm and mouth move. Also she had her legs closer together than last time, so the tech couldn't see anything in that area! Ha, stinker. Friday I got the call that I was borderline anemic and needed to start iron supplements and that I had failed my glucose screening by 3 points. I was afraid of that. I cried the entire drive home then I sucked it up and remembered how lucky I still am. So now I have to take the 3 hour test where you drink the gross koolaid 3 times and they draw your blood 3 times and you don't get to eat from bed to lunch the next day (that's the part I am dreading, no food!). I go Friday for it and I pray I pass it this time. Lots of women fail the first and pass the second one. If I fail it that will be ok too, I will sacrifice sweets and whatever else I have to!

 

I think that about catches me up. I am 26 weeks 4 days today. 2/3 of the way!!

 

 

Ultrasound and Gender Reveal!!!

Last Thursday I had my monthly doctor appointment and ultrasound at 18 weeks 6 days. My mom came with us and Ryan's mom came in from Nashville to be there too. We told the tech first thing that we didn't want to know the gender yet and for her to put it in an envelope for us. We had a cookout planned for Saturday at our house and had invited both our families for a gender reveal. So each time she needed a measurement close to the legs she told us to look away. Pretty sure Ryan and I wouldn't have been able to tell anyway. I wanted to peek so bad but didn't. Baby was not cooperating much at all! The tech kept saying "baby does not want to show it's face, baby has hands up around face" and when down around the legs "baby does not want to give me a good shot". Already a little stinker. She thought baby was sleeping. She had me empty my bladder half way (what is half way? ha) and had me turn side to side to try to get the baby in a better position. Pretty sure the only movement baby made was moving arms from front of face to back behind the head, like baby was stretching back. Maybe baby was asleep or maybe baby will be calm and cool like daddy! We sure hope so! We never got a good profile shot because of the way baby was laying but here are some of the ultrasound pictures.

 

 



Baby was measuring 3 days ahead at 19 weeks and 2 days. Heartbeat was 145. After the ultrasound we met with the doctor. My pelvic measurement was between 17 1/2 to 18 weeks. We chatted a little about upcoming things like the glucose test, talked about how we decided against all testing for genetic abnormalities and set up our next appointment. On the way home we met my sister and handed her the envelope with our baby's gender picture. Aunt Kolette was in charge of the gender reveal. Good thing she met us because I was so tempted to peek!

 

Saturday we cooked out and all our families came over. I think we had close to 30 people there. Even though the wind was trying to blow us away it was so nice having them all together. We had everyone right down their guesses.

 

 

Daddy's guess: Boy! (Momma's guess was boy too)

 

Total Tally: Boy - 18; Girl - 7

 

 

I wasn't nervous all day and didn't have too much time to think about the big reveal. Not until after everyone had ate and Kolette started carrying that box out!

 

 

 

Hearts were racing at this point:

 

Here we go.....

 

And IT'S A........

 

 

 

A GIRL!!!!!

 

So I guess I don't have a mother's intuition. In the beginning we kept thinking it would probably be a girl, just seems like we are surrounded by them so why wouldn't we have one too. Then I started getting a feeling it was a boy in the last 3 weeks or so. So Ryan started thinking it too, after all one surely is due to this family but nope another little precious girl!! I have to say we were a little in shock that night and next day but now it's like it's just meant to be! :)

 

Here's one of the pictures that was in the sealed envelope:

 

 

(We didn't much care for the ?)



 

 

 

She and her cousin due in 2 weeks will be joining these two little squirts (Harley driving and Layla the dog lover) very soon!! They will all grow up together! Oh my, the adventures ahead are endless! I don't have a picture of her bigger cousin Kenzie at the party because she and the other bigger kids were running all over the place.

 

Ryan's mom bought these little cowboy boots (and a boy pair too) so baby girl can be like her daddy!

 

 

 

We are so excited for what the future holds!!

 

 

This little girl is so loved already. We thank God for the opportunity to be her momma and daddy! It truly was a special, special day that we have dreamt and prayed for!

 

{Aunt Sylvia did a great job capturing our special moment; Aunt Kolette did a great job on the box; there were videos too but I can't figure out how to post a video from my phone}



 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 



Results from Monday are normal

My results from Monday are good! She said my lining was nice and thick like it should be. It measured at 12 mm. My Estradiol was 733, they want it to be over 250. So now we wait! This week has been and will continue to fly by and before I know it I will be up at St. Louis waiting at St. Luke's. Waiting to be given a picture of two of my babies that will leave with momma and daddy. Waiting to see Dr. Silber. Waiting to watch my babies on the ultrasound screen.

I am still doing good to remain calm. And still working on the staying positive. Ryan and I are finally allowing ourselves to daydream together about the future. It has been a long time since we have done that. Since April it has only been this is what we got to do today and this is what is coming and no talk of if and when. We talked about cleaning out the spare room, we argued over whether or not I would be getting a minivan if I had twins, we talked about baby names again. It has been nice. I kinda forgot what it was like to daydream.

I am going to the chiropractor after work for an adjustment. I wanted to make sure everything was in line especially my hips. I want everything as perfect as possible and need all nerves that have anything to do with my uterus to be firing properly. Tomorrow night is our injection training. (So looking forward to that. Ha.) Thursday night a friend is having a work Christmas party at her house. And then Friday I will be off to St. Louis with Kolette. I am hoping we can squeeze the rest of our Christmas shopping in that day. I will have to be back by 8:30 for Ryan to do my very first progesterone shot. Hopefully I will get to do something fun Saturday to stay busy. I would love to go see the new Hunger Games movie. Sunday after church we will head up to St. Louis and be hours away from the moment we have been waiting so long for.

I will know Friday what time my transfer is scheduled for on Monday and my instructions.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND PRAYING! Your support means the world to me!

The Today Show and Transfer Regimen

MY DOCTOR, DR. SILBER, WAS ON THE TODAY SHOW!!!

Tuesday morning a friend's mom called her at work (our work) and told her she thought my doctor was on The Today Show. I ran to the break room and turned the TV on. I had already missed half of it but thanks to the Internet I was able to watch it all.

Now I know Dr. Silber has been on TV several times in the past but this time they preformed an egg retrieval live for the first time ever and showed the process of inserting sperm into the eggs. I saw all those people just 3 weeks ago, Dr. Silber, the nurses, the ultra sound tech and the girl drawing her blood! They even showed the guy sitting in the room waiting for them to wheel his fiance back in. I wonder if Ryan looked that nervous? Probably not this time but maybe the first time. So cool!

Here is the link to the article and the two video segments.

http://www.today.com/moms/why-im-doing-ivf-live-tv-one-womans-fertility-journey-4B11235075

{Disclaimer: Yes I wish this couple would go to the courthouse and get married, have a wedding ceremony later people!}

I can't wait to hear the update on their fertilization!

I HAVE A DETAILED SCHEDULE FOR THE TRANSFER!

Birth control pills begin: TBD (depending on my next cycle start date)

Lupron injections of 10 units daily begin: November 18

Birth control pills end: November 21

Estrace pills 4 mgs twice a day begin: November 29

Vivelle dots (3 dots applied to abdomen every M, W & F) begin: November 29

Blood test for hormone panel & ultrasound to measure uterine lining (locally): December 9

Lupron injections end: December 12

Progesterone 2 cc injections begin: December 13 (these will continue until my blood test and if I am pregnant will continue everyday for 10 weeks)

Ultrasound to measure uterine lining (in St. Louis): December 13

Frozen embryo transfer: December 16

Quantitative Beta HCG blood tests (ie pregnancy test!): December 27 & December 30

Whew! That's a lot to keep up with. Lots of shots this time. I knew that was coming though. I did an estimate and if I am blessed with pregnancy it will be roughly 110 straight days of shots! But if that test comes back positive I will gladly take a shot in the hip everyday! Ryan is gonna have to get tough because he will have to give them to me. The progesterone shots have to be in the hip.

For the last week and a half I have been having a pregnancy dream almost every night. The strange thing is that I haven't had a pregnancy dream that I can remember in over a year! I have had maybe 2 or 3 dreams about babies but none that I am pregnant. All this time, tons of medicine, countless trips to the doctor, countless ultrasounds and blood work, 5 inseminations, 2 egg retrievals and NO PREGNANCY dreams! It's so strange when I think about it. I pretty much day dreamed 24/7 of being pregnant but no dreams at night. I guess my conscious is finally confident enough that I will be pregnant someday soon. I love these dreams. I wake up so happy. Some of them are really happy and some are stressful. I dreamed last night that it was time to go to the hospital. Ryan wouldn't quit talking to everyone around us and kept trying to get things done before we left. I kept looking at my belly and telling him that I didn't think it was time because my belly only looked like I was about 4 months pregnant. I asked him if I had any ultrasounds and he said no. I panicked and said "how can I be ready to deliver if I have never even had an ultrasound?" And of course he was not worried at all and told me it would be fine. Then I woke up. I had one dream a few nights ago that we went in for an ultrasound and the baby was sucking it's thumb. I was sooooooo happy when I woke up from that dream. I cannot wait to hear a heartbeat. I cannot wait to see a baby move on the screen (instead of just looking at follicles on that screen). I hope these happy dreams continue, they give me confidence.

1st Monitoring Results

I haven't posted in a while, not much been going on to tell about.

Yesterday was my first monitoring appointment for this cycle. I had an ultrasound and blood work at my local hospital. Luckily this time I didn't have to spend an hour in the blood lab and be poked by three different people. I hadn't had this guy before and he got it on the first stick! He was so nice too and I thanked him for doing such a great job. :)

I am still not happy with my local hospital. Seems like every time I go there something is not done properly. Why should a patient have to call at 4:00 to both the radiology and lab departments and ask them to send my results to my doctor when it clearly states on the order for both to send them as soon as the results are done? My ultrasound was at 8:15 (the first one of the day) and my blood shortly after. I guess the results were just sitting there because it only took them about 10 mins to reach the doctor. Grrrrrrr. I believe there is no chain of command in the entire hospital. Poor management I suppose. (Side note- my little sister is having her baby there tomorrow, so they better treat her right or I may open a can on them, I got some growing frustration for the place from how they have handled my records and the constant run around they gave my grandma this summer. So ya they better be nice to her and do things right!)

Anyhow.... back to my results. I was a bit disappointed with my ultrasound. The tech only measured 2 follicles this time. That is the lowest count I have ever had. But hopefully it is just because I am early in my cycle. I know by Friday this could all change. I started my Clomid last night and will start my Follistim injections Wednesday night {ironic that it will probably be at the hospital with my new niece and other family members in attendance}. Hopefully the meds will do their job and grow nice follicles!

These were my levels:

Estradiol: 30
LH: 5.7
FSH: 18.3
Progesterone: less than 0.2

The coordinator said all my levels were good and where they should be. She said that I have a 1.5 cm cyst on my left ovary. But that it always seems to be there early in my cycle, that it was there last time and wasn't any cause for concern.

It's all in God's hands! I trust Him. I trust my doctors. And that is what will carry me through this week and next. :)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. James 1:2-7

Confessions

I am guilty. I have some confessions.

#1) I have been impatient. Some moments I find myself wishing my summer away. I am so ready to be back at St. Louis for our 2nd retrieval. I know it will go by faster than I think. I looked at the calendar this morning and realized it had already been 24 days since our 1st retrieval! It doesn't seem like it has been that long. {Guilty because God's timing is perfect!}

#2) I have allowed the enemy to creep in during my weak moments. Meaning I have played the "what-ifs?". What-if my embryos don't survive the freeze? What if we don't get as many or none the 2nd time? Would my embryos have kept growing if I was doing a 5 day transfer? What if I do get pregnant and miscarry? It could be never ending if I let it. {Guilty because I should not doubt God's plan or the miracles He has already created!}

#3) I have been horrible at sticking to my diet!! I have got to get back to it. It is super important to me. I still want to do the best I can do for this 2nd retrieval. I have been doing lots of research. I am considering taking Royal Jelly. (Sounds gross but it is secreted from the glands in the heads of worker bees). It is supposed to help with egg health and has a ton of other health benefits. Dr. Oz recommends it to everyone (it is also supposed to reduce and prevent signs of aging). I also need to get back to my fertility yoga! I am so ashamed of my lack of obedience! {Guilty because I should not ask the best of my doctors and my Father if I am not willing to put forth my best as well!}

Whew, I feel better! I know I don't need to confess any of that to my readers but I want to be real. I want to share the thoughts and emotions that come with infertility. I have happy thoughts too (like I cannot wait to meet one of those babies in the picture!, I hope we have twins!, I am gonna do even better with the 2nd retrieval!). I am so thankful for Dr. Silber, Dr. DeRosa, Joan, the entire staff that has had anything to do with our process so far and for those 4 beautiful blessings!  I look at the picture of my babies everyday. I wonder if they are boy or girl and what they would/will look like.

We had a good 4th of July and weekend. I got to babysit my niece, Layla, all day Saturday and we celebrated my sister's 27th birthday with all of the family on Sunday. Sunday's sermon was about Abraham and Sarah and waiting! It was great and just what I needed to hear. (I don't want to sound self-centered but it made me feel like it was meant only for me and that I was the only one in the room.)

I found this on another infertility blog and just loved it!

Come on June!!

So things are going along pretty smoothly. I only have 7 more days of taking birth control!

I have completely quit caffeine now! It was hard but only for about a week.

I have also decided to change the way I eat. I am trying to eat lots of protein and really limit processed foods. It has been hard. I do like meat, eggs, cheese, etc. But I also like bread and junk food! I have been doing better than I thought I could. A study showed women that got at least 25% of their calories from protein had a much higher success rate while undergoing IVF. So I thought I better give it a shot and try, try, try!

So the schedule is still the same:

Birth control through May 28th
Have a period
Ultrasound, blood work @ Mtn. Home and begin Clomid on June 3rd
Follistim shots June 5th, 7th and 9th
Appt with Dr. DeRosa @ St. Louis June 6th (Cardinals game that night! Woohoo!)
Ultrasound, blood work June 7th @ St. Louis
Then probably sent home and told to come back Monday for ultrasound & blood work
Will for sure have an ultrasound & blood work every other day that week, if not everyday until egg retrieval

And for the best news we have received in quite a long while........ looks like insurance is gonna PAY!!! We are so excited. I am trying not to get too excited because I know how things can change so quickly on this infertility roller coaster. But I do feel like shouting it on a rooftop somewhere! THANK YOU GOD!! Thank you for my job that provides insurance. Thank you that I live in Arkansas, one of the states that has laws for infertility coverage. Thank you that those laws apply to my policy.

I am getting so excited about the whole process! No nerves yet. The only thing to be nervous about is egg count and egg quality and then embryo quality. But I haven't started obsessing about that yet. No point!

Kolette and I have started planning Rayleen's shower! It's gonna be super cute! I am excited to have a side project. It still seems a little unreal that she is having a baby. But I cannot wait for the little stinker to get here! She's gonna be soooo spoiled and have the best aunts ever!

Update... not much to tell

It's been a while since my last post. Mostly because there hasn't been much to tell. I finally started my cycle and have a day by day plan now!

I started my first birth control pill yesterday and will stay on them until May 28th.

On June 3rd I will begin Clomid and stay on it until I am told to stop.

I will give myself three injections of Follistim on June 5th, 7th and 9th.

My first monitoring appointment, which includes an ultrasound and blood work to measure my follicles and check hormone levels, is June 3rd. The first monitoring appointment I can do at the local hospital.

My second monitoring will be in St. Louis on June 7th. I was told to make an appointment with my assigned OB, Dr. DeRosa. He will be the doctor doing my retrieval. I tried to get it the same day as the monitoring appt, but he isn't in town that day. So I scheduled to meet with him the day before. Which works out just fine! We will have to be in St. Louis extremely early on the 7th, so we can go up the day before meet with the OB and stay the night. AND the Cardinals are playing that night! I already bought our tickets! {EXCITED!!} We will also both have our HIV and hepatitis tests one of these two days.

After that I am not sure, it turns into a day by day basis. My scheduled transfer date is still June 14th but this could vary 1 - 2 days before or after. It all depends on how well my follicles respond to the medications.

Last week I called the insurance coordinator at St. Luke's Hospital (where all the magic will happen). I gave her my insurance information and told her that my policy does cover infertility but I didn't know if I would meet the qualifications or not. I was told a while back by a Blue Cross customer service rep that "two years of unexplained infertility" starts when you first see a doctor about your infertility. I have been so confused by that statement. Because a doctor doesn't normally want to see you for infertility until you meet the definition of infertility which is trying for 12 months without success. So does that mean that I have to try for 12 months on my own and then for another 2 years with the assistance of a doctor? So confusing! That doesn't even make sense, two years of infertility is two years to me! Anyway, she said she would get in contact with my insurance company and let me know at the beginning of this week. I know I shouldn't worry about it, because it will be what it will be. I cannot change it. But again the wait to know is torture. It doesn't matter what the answer is. We are going forward with our plan either way. But if we could actually get some help from insurance that would be such an amazing blessing!

I started a savings account about a year after we married. I told Ryan it was our future home fund. I wanted to save up money for when we built a house and I wanted new furniture or upgrades that weren't in our budget. No most people probably don't think like this. If you know me well enough you know I am a planner and like to prepare. Thank you Lord for making me that way! I am more than happy to spend that money on creating a family than on the material things I intended it for! (He knew what he was doing, I didn't). We have enough money saved up to pay for two, back to back retrievals. I am not trying to be greedy with my money when I say that I hope insurance will help out. Because I am not trying to keep my money, instead I am thinking "ok what if we go through the first two and they are not successful, then we have no savings left?" Which would put more stress on the situation. Not that that would be the end of the journey. Because it wouldn't. We would continue on.

It sure was nice to have a break from the craziness and emotions for a month but I am excited to get started! Yesterday as I took my first birth control pill I moved one step closer! I am looking forward to the next step. June 14th is 39 days away! Some days I still can't believe this is happening!

 

My chalkboard :)

Poor Ovarian Reserve...

It has taken me a few days to be ready to write this post. For one, it was way too nice out this weekend to be inside on the computer and I have the sunburn and sore muscles to prove it. (But my yard looks much better!) Secondly, I needed processing time.

Before I go into details of my appointment, I want to say I love Dr. Silber and the whole staff! They were all so nice, just like everyone says. I was not disappointed. :)

My ultrasound appointment was at 2:00 and my appointment with Dr. Silber at 3:00. The purpose of the u/s is to look at the ovaries, get an antral follicle count in each ovary and measure the uterine lining. The follicles are where the egg(s) grow and the antral follicle count is an indicator of your remaining reproductive years.

The girl performing my u/s was so sweet. She asked if I had ever had a trans vaginal ultrasound before. I told her yes, close to ten of them! I didn't ask any questions while she was performing the u/s because I knew that she wasn't supposed to tell me anything, that Dr. Silber wanted to know the results and discuss them with me.

When our name was finally called, I was so excited. I knew I was about to meet an amazing person. Someone who has helped so many people. He introduced himself and we sat at a small round table. The first thing he noticed was Ryan's Razorback shirt and Cardinals hat. He commented on them and then gave his brief spill about the infertility epidemic. Then he said something that I was not expecting at all. "Well your antral follicle count was 7, which tells us that you have a low egg reserve." I about fell out of my chair. I looked over at Ryan and he had the same look I am sure I had.

He went on to explain what exactly that meant. Basically I do not have as many eggs as I should at my age and that is why I haven't been able to achieve pregnancy on my own. I asked him what the count should be at my age and he said at least 20! Oh my. He said that I had two in one ovary and five in the other. That the count would vary with each cycle but that I would never have the normal amount. I told him that this was the first time I was ever hearing this (even after going to Little Rock for 6 months and having approximately 8 - 10 previous ultrasounds). I told him that they never told me my follicle count but that they would measure the two or three biggest ones each time. He said that was because the doctor was the one doing the u/s and that they don't take the time with each patient to do a complete ultrasound. [What?!?! Does this make sense at all?!? It took less than 15 minutes and is non-invasive and affordable!]

This is the chart that will forever be burned into my memory, that left a hairline crack in my heart:

I fall in that last line, the line that has a lovely dash under years until last child. But praise the Lord for creating people like Dr. Silber. People's whose passion for science and others has helped people like me fulfill their dreams! I know that from this point forward in our journey that we are in the two most capable sets of hands there is: God's and Dr. Silber's! And for this I am grateful!

His plan for us is to do several back to back cycles of minimal stimulation IVF. He thinks that we will need several cycles in order to retrieve enough eggs and store up as many embryos as possible. Mini IVF is like traditional IVF minus the daily injections of hormones for months. He said that I would not benefit from these high levels of hormones. That the purpose of them is to produce a high egg count for retrieval. But that even with the massive amounts of hormones my body would probably not produce any more eggs than usual. The goal of mini IVF is to recruit a only a few high quality eggs. The harvest, fertilization, culture and transfer of those eggs/embryos does not differ from routine IVF.  We are shooting for quality over quantity! He has hopes that based on my age my eggs should still be of high quality. Of course, there is no guarantee of this. But we won't know until we try and I have to keep the faith and think happy thoughts about my eggs until then!

So here's the way that mini IVF works:

• Call the clinic on day 1 of my next cycle {end of April/beginning of May}
• Begin and end birth control pills on days instructed by my coordinator (sweet Joan), somewhere between 21 to 28 days of birth control pills
• Start period {end of May/beginning of June}
• On day 3 of cycle begin 50mg Clomid and continue until ultrasound monitoring shows the follicles are ready for ovulation
• On days 8, 10, and 12 add in 150iu of Follistim (FSH injections)
• Begin monitoring (blood work and ultrasound) when instructed
• When blood work and ultrasound look good we will do the egg retrieval {target date June 14}
• Eggs that are retrieved will be injected with sperm by a needle (ICSI)
• Resulting embryos will be frozen by new technique of vitrification

Dr. Silber wants us to do the process a few times to get as many embryos frozen as possible before making any transfers. This is because even if we have a handful of embryos there is no guarantee that those embryos will implant in my uterus and form into a baby. And also because if I were to get pregnant within the first couple of transfers (placing embryos in the uterus) I need to have some embryos frozen for future babies. I need to do this in order to insure I will still have a chance of having another child if I become pregnant during the first or second transfer. Because if I was to get pregnant but didn't have any embryos left for the future I may not have any eggs by the time we are ready for another child.

I am hoping we will get several excellent embryos and not have to do more than 3 rounds of retrieval. He would be happy if we could get at least 4 or 5 eggs during each retrieval and even more happy if all or most fertilize and turn into embryos. This is where we will find out the quality of my eggs. The number of eggs retrieved each time will vary as will the embryo count. The goal at this point in the journey is not to get pregnant but to get as many Walker baby embryos frozen as we can!

After Dr. Silber and we are comfortable with the amount of frozen embryos we will do a transfer. The number of embryos transferred would depend on the quality of the embryo. These are things to be determined. However, they will not preform a transfer until 3 months have passed since your last retrieval. Therefore, we are looking at winter as the earliest possibility of a transfer.

I tried to explain it the best way I could but if you would like to learn more you can go to Dr. Silber's website: http://www.infertile.com/infertility-treatments/ivf-in-vitro-fertilization.htm

There will be more posts once I get more information. I expect our huge package of detailed instructions at the beginning of next week. The inpatient, information starved side of me wishes I had this in my hand already! But the side of me that will get me through this says "one day at a time!"

Side note: I went to bed early last night because Ryan was watching the NCAA championship game and I was exhausted. Anyway when he did come to bed he went on about how good the game was and then said "Oh and I read your blog. It is really good babe." :) :) :) I had told him a couple of weeks ago when I started it but he never asked to read it and I never asked or pressured him to. This melted my heart. Again thank you God for him!