Where do I start? I will just be direct, the main reason for starting this blog is to document our journey/struggle with infertility. In recent months I have found inspiration, wisdom and faith from other blogs. Some of which are still in the "battle", but most are through it and are now sharing about their growing families. I look back on past posts from these blogs and think how neat it is that they documented their journey from infertility to parenthood. These blogs have helped me keep the faith and prepare me for what might be next in our journey. This leads to the second reason for starting the blog: to hopefully help or inform others about the "battle". If I just help one reader (even if it isn't any time soon), the blog would be a success for me.
Now for the background info. Ryan and I married in May of 2009. We had a beautiful wedding and were so excited about what the future held for us. Ryan was still attending college then. Like every other young couple, we started talking about our plans. We were both in agreement that we would wait to have children until he was finished with school. At the time we were married I thought this would be in the spring of 2011. However, Ryan decided to change his major shortly after we were married. He entered the teaching program in the fall of 2010 and was set to graduate in the spring of 2012. You know how you always hear people say something was missing? Well that feeling started creeping in after about 18 months after being married. So we had the baby talk again. We then decided that it would be okay to have a baby right before Ryan graduated or the summer after (instead of waiting to start trying after he had graduated). So in the summer of 2011 we began our journey....
We decided as soon as we got back from vacation we would start trying. I did my research and knew that doctors recommend to quit taking your birth control a couple of months before you start trying to have a baby. I wanted to do everything the right way. (I admit I am a bit OCD, my husband would laugh and say a lot.) So I quit the pill two months before vacation and we used other means to prevent. I mean I didn't want to get pregnant before vacation and be sick the whole time! I was so excited while we were in South Carolina. We talked about it a lot and I kept asking Ryan if he was sure he was ready. He assured me he was and I would get butterflies each time we spoke of it.
After vacation it was on. I couldn't believe we were actually going to start. I would try to picture myself pregnant and I couldn't. (This faded over time of course.) I wasn't so naive that I thought we would get pregnant the first month or event the first 6 months. But after six months of trying I did start to worry. I had a good friend who struggled with infertility for two years before getting pregnant. (Now she has two beautiful, energetic boys.) I kept telling myself 80% of women are pregnant within 12 months. Surely I would be in that 80%. I don't guess I have to tell you that I wasn't.
That is really when the battle/struggle/journey started. We went to our initial appointment with my OB/GYN. He gave us our options, which I knew before hand (again research, research, research). Ryan had his test and it was fine. I had the initial blood tests and the HSG test to check for blockage in my tubes. All tests were fine. I was happy. Our next step was either take Clomid or set up an appointment with a specialist. We decided to try the Clomid. I was so nervous thinking I could have twins. Gasp! I am a twin and love being a twin but didn't think I would have enough patience to raise twins. (This too faded over time and the idea was welcomed and even wished for.) The doctor said that he would let me do three rounds of Clomid. After two rounds were unsuccessful, I decided to go on to the specialist.
Six months later we are still seeing the specialist. Still hoping, still praying, still trying to stay positive. I will post more about the last six months later.