Decision

So we have been doing a lot of thinking over the past two nights, more so last night. I think Monday night and all day yesterday I was on a high and that was affecting my critical thinking. I just kept thinking okay everything went so well, let's do a transfer! But then logical Kandie kicked in. I called and talked to Joan and asked a few questions. I talked to Ryan and we laid it all out, the pros and cons. After talking and thinking we decided the best option would be to do another retrieval. After all this is what Dr. Silber suggested from the beginning. He is the expert. He is the one who sees patients in our situation all the time. He knows what works and what is best. I have had full confidence in him since the day we met and I still do.

Here's the facts:

Pros of a 2nd Retrieval:

• Each embryo has approximately a 25% chance of implanting and resulting in pregnancy
• If we put in two at a time, the chance of pregnancy then becomes 50%
• If you do the math, that means on average 1 in 4 embryos make it
• We only have 4, even though we are thrilled with that number and the possibility of 4 babies, there is also a possibility that all 4 will not make it, then we would be back a square one
• I think it would be harder on us to move a step back, in other words if we did 2 transfers and both were unsuccessful it would be emotionally and physically exhausting to start over
• If we were to go ahead with a transfer now we know we only have 2 chances
• If we do another retrieval we will have more than 2 chances (if everything goes well)
• It would be less stressful going in to a transfer knowing that you have more than two shots at it
• What's two more months of my life at this point!
• My eggs are the youngest and best they will be right now. If I was to get pregnant with one of the four embryos and then wanted another baby later that would put my eggs being 2 plus years older before I could do another retrieval. The quality will be less and so will the quantity.

Pros of Going Ahead with a Transfer:

• Ryan wouldn't have to be off several days of work right at the beginning of the school year (except for the transfer day)
• I wouldn't have to be off a whole week plus, just 2 - 3 days at the most (I am completely out of vacation hours but luckily I have a boss and employer who are okay with me taking unpaid leave)
• If I did a transfer it would probably be at the end of September beginning of October and if I was to get pregnant I would be due next Summer, which would be convenient for a teacher's wife
• It would be less money, less travel, lodging, dining, etc. (Honest I am not worried about money, but it would be less money.)
• I am not sure yet when insurance will quit paying. I did fail to mention in my post about insurance that the lifetime limit for fertility coverage is $15,000. I know that there is a good possiblity of going over this amount with two retrievals plus medication for transfers. But that's okay too. I am willing to spend all of my savings for a miracle! For the first retrieval we were out of pocket my deductible plus Dr. Silber's fee of $5,000
• The fee for the second retrieval is $4,000. (This is discounted $1,000 if you do back-to-back retrievals.) I am not sure if any or how much of the $5,000 or $4,000 that I will get back. Dr. Silber does not participate in any insurance networks. For out-of-network my insurance has an a seperate $6,000 deductible not counting my already met deductible of $3000. I would have met most of this with the first check of $5,000.
• If I am looking at out of network coverage right, then I should get back 80% of $3,000 of the $4,000 as long as the claim is accepted. I am still not sure that it will be.
• I should also mention that these fees, the $5,000 & $4,000, each include one transfer and storage of embryos for a year. The only cost we should incur at transfer would be for medications.
• In other words, if it is going to take more than one retrieval for us to have our children it would be best to get it in this year since the in-network deductible is met and hopefully the out-of-network deductible will be too!  

So that's it! A lot of info, a hard decision! But we have to make the choice that we are most comfortable with and I feel like this is it.

As for now, I should get my period in the next 5 to 10 days. I won't do or take anything from the start of this period to the next one (which should fall at the end of July). After I get my period in July we will know a target date. It will be either the last week of August or the first week of September. All medications will be the same. I will start birth control, Clomid and Follistim shots after my July period and we will go from there!

Now I have work to do figuring out more insurance info! One step at a time!

P.S. I love my husband so much! He is always so calm, collected, upbeat and supportive. I really believe I could not have made it this far if I was married to anyone else! God handpicked him for me! The first thing he said to me Monday night when I hung up with Joan was "Good job baby, I am so proud of you! I told you you had good eggs!" That meant the world to me, for him to acknowledge my biggest achievement in life thus far! (I know there are bigger ones to come!)